"Fat Shaming." "Anti-Fat Bias." "Body Image Terrorism." These are all terms used when someone tells you what you actually look like, and it isn't what you wanted to hear.

According to WCBD in South Carolina, Stratford High School Principal Heather Taylor stepped in a big pile o' politically correct doggie-doo when she told female students that leggings would make them look fat if they weren't a "size zero...or 2."

First of all, what's with this "Size Zero?" How is zero a size? When I go shopping for a shirt, the smallest size they have is....duuuhhrrrr..."Small." What is it with you women that your smallest size is, literally, "nothing?" What if some lady is a size zero and THEN she loses five more pounds? Is there a size "Negative One?"

In fairness, I recently had it driven home just how obese we've become as a country. Up until some recent weight loss I was wearing a size 2XL. I ordered a shirt online, size 2XL. When it arrived I found that I couldn't even get the buttons to touch the button holes. Turns out, the shirt was Italian and everywhere else in the world "2XL" means "Medium."

I digress. Here's the full quote from Principal Taylor:

“I’m going to tell you now, unless you are a size zero or two and you wear something like that, even if your NOT fat, you look fat.”

Students complained that the comments made them feel "threatened" or "triggered," presumably between bites of an Choco Taco. But the principal didn't call them fat. She said that certain clothes could make them look fat.

It's a small but important distinction. As previously mentioned, I am a fat guy. As a fat guy, I only wish someone had imparted some similar advice before I hit 220. "Horizontal stripes make you look fatter than you are." "Wear shirts un-tucked as much as possible." "If you wear suspenders everybody's going to know it's because buying new belts has become too expensive. Also, it really hurts when one of those things comes unsnapped and the metal thingy hits you in the eye."

People, especially kids, being a healthy body size (or, hell, even "pudgy by European standards") isn't the major health crisis facing our country today. Being obese and all the health risks that go along with it is. When it becomes a firing offense to even offer some sensible fashion advice, that's when we might as well go ahead, throw in the towel and start wearing Muumuus like "work-from-home Homer."

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