Drunk Chicken and Bacon Wrapped Scallops

Both the chicken and the scallops are incredibly simple in this recipe. Here's what you'll need.

A mixing bowl

Salt and pepper

Your favorite chicken seasoning

1 stick of butter

1 pack of bacon

1 table spoon of minced garlic

1 lbs of scallops

1 whole chicken (about 5 lbs)

1 can of beer (I used ultra cactus lime)

2 lemons

Tooth picks

Take the chicken and season the living hell out of it (inside and out) with your favorite seasoning mix for chicken. I got "The Good Sh*t" from American Home Improvement here in Midland...and yes, that really is the name of it...and yes, it's delicious. After that, stuff an open can of beer all the way in it's @$$ and stand it upright on a cooking sheet so the beer doesn't spill. There will be a little bit of the beer can still sticking out. Throw that little peckerface on the grill on top of the cooking sheet at about tree fiddy (350 degrees) for an hour. The only goal here is to cook it to 165 degrees. Just stick a meat thermometer in the thickest part of the breast to check. Your cook time will vary a little bit but an hour in is a good time to check it. Once that breast is at 165, take it out and let it sit for about 15 minutes...which is great because that gives you almost the perfect amount of time to cook the scallops. Take grill up to 400 degrees. I use a pellet grill so this is just a flip of the switch for me.

While your chicken is cooking, microwave that stick of butter in a small plastic container for around 1 minute then let it cool for just a few minutes, but make sure the butter is completely melted. While the butter cools a bit, dry the scallops with a paper towel and throw them in your big mixing bowl. Throw the anti vampire chunks (minced garlic) in a small pan and just cook it until it starts to sizzle then throw it directly in the bowl with the scallops. This will only take a few minutes. After that, just toss that melted artery clogging goodness (butter) in the bowl with the rest of it, add a good amount of salt and pepper, and mix it all up real good. Now, open your pack of bacon and start wrapping the scallops and securing the bacon on with your wooden tooth picks. I use 2 tooth picks per scallop and I go all the way through to the other side of the scallop with each one so they cross in the middle. Toss those delicious bastards on the grill for 15 to 20 minutes. I flip them after about 10 minutes in. Fortunately, the bacon i a good indicator for when the scallops are done. Once the bacon starts to crisp and look well cooked, you're good to go.

Slice those lemons so you can squeeze them on the scallops and serve it all up. Congrats, you just made dinner your b*tch. I made this for the wife on Mother's Day and she ate herself into a food coma.