Here I am sporting this sexy little number. I call them "Swimtrumps". Yes, he is in fact commenting on the size of my manhood. It almost completely distracts people from the star spangled "Murica" shirt written in Metallica font.

Now I know you're asking "Doc, where can I also get swim attire that takes an already awkward situation for chubby people at the pool and turns it up to 11?" Well I'll tell you but as I found out, there's a catch. First off, I paid way more for these stupid swim trucks than I should have. How much you ask? almost $50 bucks. In my defense, I knew you guys would love them so I had to get them and show you. Secondly, it took a month for the company to finally get them to me. Call me crazy, but if I pay $50 for a pair of swim trumps, I expect them to be at my house in way less than a month.

If you still want a pair then by all means, get em. I ordered them at This is the second order I've placed with them because they have some stuff that just flat out makes me laugh but there were a ton of issues with the first one. I usually give second chances but not thirds.

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