So yesterday’s blog about pools and water parks got me thinking about ole Water Wonderland.  Don’t act like you don’t remember that place!



I can’t say I spent a ton of time at the park myself when I was a kid but only because I didn’t actually live in Midland when the park was open.  My dad was a trucker and we didn’t “live” anywhere for very long but did stay in this general area and when my parents hadn’t spent all their money on pot or my cousins folks were kind enough to include me (as they often did) I did get to share in the experience of Water Wonderland and let me just say it was magical…Well to me it was considering the closest I had ever been to a water park at that point was filling the tub up and jumping off the toilet seat until I got my ass beat for making a mess while messen up my mom’s high, I mean waking her up from her nap, same thing.


I know the park closed in 2003 I just don’t remember what for.  Were there issues with the integrity of the structures?  Was the park not making enough money to keep it open?  Or did they simply find too many dead birds in the wave pool?


My next question is why did the city of Midland decide to pump however many millions of dollars into the renovation of a pool that even now that it’s done just isn’t big enough to accommodate the amount of people in this town who want to chase around their children for 8 hours in the hot west Texas sun when they could’ve just as easily chased them around their own back yard with the water hose virtually for free.


I’m not saying that the pool they renovated isn’t the most amazing, bad ass public pool I have ever seen in any town in my whole life…because it is.  People this pool is awesome, if you get the chance, GO!


As awesome as it is, the pool just isn’t big enough and I can’t imagine a time when you’re not going to have to stand in line for hours to get in.


I don’t know what kind of money it would cost to renovate a park like Water Wonderland but I’m guessing in this town as hot as our summers get the money could be made back relatively quickly.


So why not get that place going again?  I mean damn man, if I had the money there’s no end to what I would do with that big ole wet potential money maker!


I’m not Rick James rich so if I wasn’t so lazy and a bit more business savvy I bet I could still get


Here is what I would do with that run down diamond in the rough;

  • Separate hours for adults and under 21’s would be set first and foremost, cause nothing brings you out of a “almost too drunk to have fun” stupor like a dip in the pool

  • Super-hot cabana boys taking drink orders…(ok that one was just for me)

  • Beer Pong tournaments every weekend sponsored by oh let’s say Michelob Ultra, cause that’s what I drink when I play beer pong ok! With courtesy buses to drive home all the participants Bikini contests and muscle mass measuring obviously would determine the life guard positions I would get Sauza Tequila to sponsor the renovation of the big tall slide and we could call it the Sauza Shot Slide-or the SSS Drunko-with shots of tequila given to all sliders.

  • The wave pool would be painted with black light reactive and/or glow in the dark paint and underwater black lights installed-sponsored by one of the many upstanding electrical companies here in Midland/Odessa.

  • Foam parties on Friday nights sponsored by Fat Tire-Fat Tire Foam Parties.

  • I would have an adult SlipNSlide installed, sponsored by County Line Adult Superstore with a cautionary sign that reads “Slippery when wet” and some sort of lube advertisement following.

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