I Got Beat Up by A 10 Year Old

My step son and I love to rough house. It drives the wife crazy because it's always loud and sometimes even destructive lol. The other day, she was cooking and I was chasing our 10 year old around the house with a slipper in hand. I was just about to bludgeon the little bugger with it when (as 10 year olds are able to do) he just turns on a dime and jukes me out of my shoes....literally. He changed directions and I didn't. As I tried to stop on the slick kitchen floor, it became immediately apparent that stopping wasn't going to happen. One foot had grip from the rubber soul of the slipper, but because I had the other slipper in my hand ready to beat a defenseless child with it, that foot did not have grip. I had socks on. My socked foot came up over my head, as I somehow ended up completely sideways hurdling towards the utility room doorway.

Now, I'm not a particularly tall man. I'm actually on the lower end of average height for a guy. That being said, I'm not short enough to fit through a doorway sideways. That brings us to the impact. I hit my shoulder on one side of the door frame, and my ass on the other. When I say "hit", I mean my chubby man missile of a body shook the entire foundation of my house. If I had hit any harder, there would be a cartoon cutout shape of me in the doorway. You know when you fall so hard no one is laughing, you done messed up. I have bruises in so many places right now, and my step son is walking with a little bit more pep in his step. I can't wait until I heal so I can wipe that smug grin off his face lol. The moral of the story is, 10 year olds are not to be trusted...and NEVER run through the kitchen in socks.