Stupid Criminals: A Man Masturbates in the Lobby of a Massage Parlor After They Wouldn’t Give Him a ‘Happy Ending’

Remember guys, some massage parlors are not "those kind" of massage parlors, words to remember so you don't turn out like this guy.

According to The Smoking Gun, a guy in his 40s went to the Tai Chi Massage parlor in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina on Saturday night.

He got a $68 massage plus a $20 "table shower" and at the end, he asked his masseuse for a happy ending.

She said she didn't know what that was, so he gestured around his crotch to demonstrate and she refused to do it.  So he put his clothes on and walked out all angry.

When he got into the lobby, he decided to give himself the happy ending.

So he sat down on a bench, whipped it out, and started masturbating.

The staff called the police, but the guy took off before they got there.  So now they're trying to track him down.