This week, Marvel Studios' new film, 'Guardians of the Galaxy,' will open in theaters. One of the aforementioned Guardians is a walking, talking tree named Groot, voiced by Vin Diesel. Earlier today, footage was released of Vin Diesel voicing Groot in a number of languages, including Russian. Earlier today, we got a chance to speak with Russian Groot, so here's that. (Also: You're welcome, no one.)

Hello, Groot. It’s nice to meet you.

Я Гроот

What?

Я Гроот

I didn’t realize I’d be speaking to the Russian Groot.

Я Гроот

Can we get a translator?

Я Гроот

I don’t speak Russian.

Я Гроот

It sounds like you’re saying the same thing over and over, only in Russian.

Я Гроот

What’s Rocket like?

Я Гроот

What was it like working with Chris Pratt?

Я Гроот

Do you like being a tree?

Я Гроот

Can I feed you some nitrogen?

Я Гроот

Is there a lesson in ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ about different types of people coming together for a greater cause that could be applied to today’s geopolitical climate?

Я Гроот

I have no idea what you said.

Я Гроот

This isn’t working.

Я Гроот

Why do you keep saying that?

Я Гроот

I have no idea what you’re saying.

Я Гроот

What did you think of the footage of Vin Diesel doing your voice in Russian?

Я Гроот

It made me laugh.

Я Гроот

Do you know Audrey II?

Я Гроот

Is there a Russian version of Audrey II?

Я Гроот

Have you ever met the Keebler Elf tree?

Я Гроот

It doesn’t speak at all, let alone speak Russian.

Я Гроот

No, the elves live inside the tree and bake cookies.

Я Гроот

Do you like cookies?

Я Гроот

Personally, I like cookies.

Я Гроот

I guess we’re out of time. It was nice to meet you, Russian Groot.

Вы тоже

Mike Ryan has written for The Huffington Post, Wired, Vanity Fair and GQ. He is the senior editor of ScreenCrush. You can contact him directly on Twitter.

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