So this weekend I was feeling especially lazy and the mini me wanted Chinese food, so what would any good mother do in a situation like this?  Take out of course, however I figured since it was far more convenient to drive thru for anything worth being lazy to obtain I opted for the Chinese food place in the parking lot of the dreaded Jade Helm site….otherwise known as the shutdown Wal-Mart.

I don’t know if you’ve tried to get food from there recently but apparently it’s a scene from the Labyrinth up in that bitch! I mean I was so close to just jumping out of my car and moving those damn carts so I could get to my destination which was a mere 5 feet away but I was worried about the possibility of throwing the universe off balance of obviously bringing around the age of marshal law with my careless actions, so I didn’t.


Damn dude, I get that you don’t want the paint to get messed up after all that work but that paint was dry days ago so….open up a path to things of importance, like drive thru Chinese places.


I don’t know what’s going on with that place but they better figure that shit out quick before someone in HEB gets postal in one of those ridiculously long lines you have to stand in.


This town has gotten a little crazy when it comes to retail shopping.  I haven’t actually been “shopping” like for groceries and household necessities in so long that I’ve almost grown accustomed to using Kleenex as toilet paper permanently…What?  You can get it at the dollar store I’m just saying.


It’s actually quite impressive the things you are willing to pay a little more for or can simply go without when the other option is spending time in cluster fuck for 3 hours.