Someone Phone Rio — Combat Juggling Should be in the Olympics

I looked this up on Wikipedia. There are actual rules and a system of scoring. I couldn't be bothered to even read the single paragraph that explains all that, though. I was too busy looking up videos of my new favorite sport, Combat Juggling.

I know the Olympics are only 20 days away but it is IMPERATIVE that we get Combat Juggling in at all costs. We could cut some sports if we have to. You and I both know that nobody gives two watery craps about BMX Cycling.

Let's make this happen, Rio.  I mean...LOOK at this!