On today's edition of "Just the Tips" with Tawny.

 

It's never a good idea to want to see someone's true colors....it may turn out that you’re not partial to their particular shade of colossal douche canoe....when I hear the things that come out of some men's mouths...not all fellas, put your "hoe be good" sticks down...but when I hear some men complain like whiney little “give me somethn for nothn” bitches about the things that go along with courting a woman it makes me want to set thier sweet, foolish, ass backwards, vain, knuckle draggn asses straight.....so I think I will…

 

Men complaining about spending money on taking a woman out on a date makes me laugh and want to hit them on the head with a big can of  “wake the fuck up”.

 

Allow me to explain, and don’t worry I’ll put it into really simple words so the concept and deep set psychology behind it that date back to our cave dwelling days are easy enough for even those of you with the most severe  case of “dumbshititis”(pronounced  dumb-shit-eye-tus) to understand.

 

Women, whether they know it or not, look for a mate who is capable of taking care of them financially, emotionally and physically. It’s just a default in our search engine when it comes to potential bed buddies.  I say women I should be saying most women, just to clarify.

 

The process of dating is kinda like what monkey’s do to win over the next Mrs. Grape Ape….they beat each other up, jump around and make noise, pick big stuff up and throw it around (hey look how strong I am I just moved this big ass rock from where it was to 2 feet over for no reason at all), they bring a shit ton of bananas all Rick James style to show how banancially stable they are (did ya like one?) and then they beat each other up some more and swing their monkey wieners around in the lady monkey’s faces.  Sounds familiar right?

 

That’s because it’s pretty much the whole point of dating.  It’s your chance to show a woman that you are viable candidate for hiding the bishop.  You spend a little money on her….hey look at me I can actually afford to not only feed myself but you as well, you lay on the schmooze with some opening of doors and holding in of farts.

 

Your complaining about the time, money and effort it takes to court (date and or win over) a woman will land your ass right in the middle of “Women with no self-esteem, self-respect, drive, pride, teeth, job, education, class, personality, loyalty, use of birth control or fear of sexually transmitted diseases” town.

 

You’re more concerned about the money you’ll have to spend on a date that may not end in sordid, promiscuous, pity sex than you are about the quality of person you’re considering sharing the limited amount of time you have here on planet “this place sucks balls most of the time”?

 

If what your seeking is the guarantee of sex with the most minimal of effort or none at all then why are you asking girls on dates in the first place?

 

Why aren’t you trolling dives and convenience stores, or better yet why aren’t you hanging outside of Planned Parenthood or nursing homes?  (Yes I’m aware that statement may piss some of you off but you know what I’m trying to say and even if you don’t I’ve reached my daily limit of fucks to give).

 

As appealing as the thought of Netflix, beer, dicks and the 3 minute countdown to disappointment that can be had at your place may sound, there are those of us women who expect a little more effort.  And the truth of the matter is we deserve it, if we sweep away all the other bullshit and just consider for a moment the animalistic need for sexual gratification, I hate to break it to you (as if you didn’t already know) but we have something you can’t live without.  You on the other hand don’t have anything we can’t live without, yes I love a good game of pickle poke just as much as the next girl but I can live without listening to all your boring stories about your friends that I don’t care about, pretending to be interested in a lesson on how to change a carburetor and acting impressed by how much you can lift all so I can lay confused and frustrated in a wet spot next to your speedy Gonzales already fell asleep ass.

 

So man up and quite crying about spending money on dates.

 

Now, for those of you trashy, tasteless, inconsiderate bitches out there who go on dates with men you know damn well you have no intentions whatsoever of being naked in front of, you ladies need to stop taking advantage of hard working men who choose to spend their time, money and effort on just the chance of getting to touch a boob or see a nipple.

 

If you’re looking for a free meal there’s plenty of men looking to serve you a cock meat sandwich no charge so open wide….

 

 

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