How I Helped the Patriots Win the Super Bowl
The New England Patriots beat the Los Angeles Rams 13 to 3 in Super Bowl 53, giving Tom Brady his 6th ring. Which means I've been fortunate enough to watch my team win six Super Bowls. And in case you didn't know, I don't just watch the game. I play a pivotal role in the team's success. Here is how I helped the Patriots win this most recent Super Bowl
- It all started at the beginning of the season when I had to lock in my "game day" shirt. This season, it was my "Do Your Job" shirt.
- The season was a bit rocky, but when they moved on past the Chiefs to make the Super Bowl, it was time to get really serious. It was way to iffy during the AFC Championship game because I was travelling, which means I can only control so much.
- First, it started with the playoff beard. I made the decision to not shave or trim my beard after the Pats beat the Chiefs.
- When game time was coming around, I let the wife know that I wasn't going to be able to watch the game with her. Follow my logic here:
- She watched the first half of the Pats/Falcons Super Bowl and left at half time. Pats came back after she left.
- She watched ALL of the last year's Super Bowl with me, and they lost.
- When the game started, other than the shirt and beard, this is when you have to be ready to adapt and call audibles.
- I was drinking tea during the game, and the Pats were playing okay. So the more tea the better.
- This helped lead to the solid defensive play by the Patriots. I got up to pee when they needed their first big defensive stop.
- So the combination of those two things kept the solid play going. Drinking enough tea to not only keep up good play, but enough to make me have to pee a lot when a third down stop was needed.
- I'm totally not joking by the way. I drank about 8 cups of tea, and peed at least 30 times during the game.
- Towards the end of the game, I was sitting with my right leg crossed over my left. Then the Pats scored. That does it, staying like that on offense.
- But I wasn't sure if that would work on defense. It didn't. First play from scrimmage after the Pats scored, the Rams go for 19 yards to Brandin Cooks.
- So I switch up the legs. Boom. Stuff the run and an incomplete pass.
- But something went wrong with the cosmos here, I was't sure what to do. Stay seated with my legs crossed or get up to pee. It is third down. I got up to pee. It didn't work. First down on an 11 yard pass to Josh Reynolds.
- It's no time to question the previous play though. Gotta have a short memory in this game.
- I kept it consistent over the next 7 minutes, and helped the Patriots bring home their 6th Super Bowl title.
So what does all this mean? It doesn't matter what the players do for prep. It doesn't matter what kind of game plan Bill Belichick and the coaching staff comes up with. I, and I alone, control the outcome of Patriot's games.
Now, let's get ready for ring number 7, but first, where do I pick up my ring?