Spencer Kaufman, Loudwire
Spencer Kaufman, Loudwire
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I’ve been seeing some stuff about hard seltzers being all the rage this summer, however, I haven’t heard anything about it until it popped up on social media so that doesn’t nessacarity mean it’s a thing.  I’ve personally never seen anyone drinking a hard seltzer at a bar, then again, I don’t go to bars very often so what would I know.  What I have seen people drink is something called Four Loko.  If you’ve ever had the unfortunate pleasure of witnessing the aftermath of this beverage you know it can go from zero to swat team real quick.  I’ve read that hard seltzers like White Claw and Truly are at 6 percent ABV, which I can only assume is around a normal amount for these types of drinks.  Then comes Four Loko wanting to up the game in a very dangerous way.  If you don’t know what Four Loko is, it’s a beverage that contains as much alcohol in it as six beers and as much caffeine as two cups of coffee in just one can.  Apparently they were real popular with college kids, which makes sense considering when you’re in college it’s all about finding the most bang for your buck. It was banned in multiple sates in 2010 and eventually pulled off shelves by the company after a death and dozens of hospitalizations.  I’ve personally seen what happens when someone drinks too many…or any of these drinks and it never ends well….never.  I’ve drank Four Loko one time.  I ended up telling my (soon to be) brother in-law, a man who happens to be over 6 feet tall and over 200 something pounds, to go ahead and hit me and that I would whoop his ass.  I then decided to tell a girl who was a complete stranger to me at the time, that she was a hooker and trying to boink everyone at the house party I was at and then proceeded to walk home, crossing a major street and getting chased for a bit by a very large dog of some sort.  Now, to be faaaaaaaaaaaaaair, that girl was being a hooker and what initiated me thinking I could take down a man 4 times my size came from genuine place but I would never have said any of the stuff I said out loud or walked home in the dark in the middle of the night half jammed if I hadn’t drank the devil juice.  That stuff makes you want to say things that you’re thinking in your inside brain on the outside of your mouth and that’s a dangerous thing to happen, especially for someone like me.  The seltzer version of Four Loko is said to have fourteen percent alcohol by volume, more than twice what regular seltzers have in them.  So, I’m betting this venture won’t end well.  If you have a Four Loko story I would LOVE to hear it, so post in the comments on the KBAT Facebook page or you can send them to us here. Be safe my friends and always drink responsibly.

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