Check Out What Had Me Beyond Excited

Yesterday we listed 469 ways to refer to a vagina, and even though the natural flow of things would be to move on to listing ways to refer to a man’s mutton dagger, otherwise known as the male genitalia.

Today I got a message on my Amazon Prime account that gave me such a lady boner that I had to go ahead and put it out there for all to see.

We have recently updated the screen reader optimized website to include headings, landmarks, and new shopping features to improve your experience. Please follow this link or go to www.amazon.com/access.

This is the message that was waiting for me when I pulled up ole trusty…otherwise known as my Amazon Prime account….which is pretty much where most of my money goes….ok all of it.

Basically the dream Ive had since I saw Star Wars for the first time is finally going to come true, and you better betchur ass I’ll have this baby 2 day shipped on the quick!!!! I can not wait to have one of these and try this space age thing out….it may take me a while to figure it out….ok lets face it by the time I figure out how to use it the next one will come out and this one will be obsolete but that’s not the point!

If you are an Amazon Prime member I’m sure your just as stoked as I am, hell if you’re a lazy person like me I bet your just as stoked too!  This pretty much means I don’t have to move a muscle, aside from my mouth, to check the weather, call for pizza, find out what the next concert on my calendar is, or anything else I decide I need to do while I’m practicing my bad posture on the couch….

Am I the only one losing my mind excited about this?