Bad Ass Mother’s Day Gifts for Bad Ass Mothers
What are planning on giving the mom or moms in your life this year for Mother’s Day? If she’s anything like the moms I know she’s not your normal mom. So why give her a cookie cutter, run of the mill, same-old same-old gift? Why not give her the kind of gift that she’s actually going to love and use?
The following is list of some very unique Mother’s Day gifts that don’t die after a week and aren’t going to be covered in chocolate…unless she’s into that kind of a thing, you do you boo boo!
Hairbrush/Bottle Opener-because hair looks better when theirs beer involved right?
Darth Vader Humidifier-Sick kids suck, there’s no getting around that but with this kick ass humidifier at least the house won’t look like a 1940’s tuberculosis ward when flu season comes around.
F You Candle- Ah yes, the one finger wave, the jersey salute, flipping the bird, middle finger boner, half a peace sign, and also known in Texas as the highway salute. Who knew it made for suck an interesting candle.
Nancy Pilosi, “Our Lady of Shade” Candle- This candle is the best but keep in mind that you can actually make your own labels special for mom for that custom gift status. However, now that I’ve seen this candle I really need to have it in my house.
Fake Yoga Mat That Holds 6 Beers-I’m never vexed by the need to impress people with my downward dog but I wouldn’t mind if they thought I was on my way to get my stretch on when really I’m headed to the park with the kids and momma needs to unwind. (When I say headed I mean walking to the park because there’s on near my house, of course I wouldn’t be driving don’t’ be dumb) Sorry, couldn't find a pic of this one.
Pop Infused Popcorn-This is the perfect snack for any mom who loves to binge watch true crime shows or a required snack for mom during the summer when all the kids want to do is watch cheesy dog movies.
Bathroom Wine Glass Holder-This isn’t just a gift for mom fortunally. However, as far as a moms schedule goes, it is the perfect gift for any multi-tasking mom.
Peanut Butter Whiskey-Give this to mom along with a container of grape juice and tell mom it’s to repay her for all the PB&J sandwiches she’s made you.
Giant Fake Diamond-Yeah, I know, it’s not real, it’s a paper weight, but so what? All women like stuff that sparkly and this is one big ass, sparkly ass paper weight. I tried to get it put in a setting but the guy in jewelry shop asked where my guardian was.
Wine Subscription-Another gift that will work well for anyone really. I mean, it’s wine man!