If only I was making this up, but ironically, it's a true story.

According to KSL-TV in Salt Lake City, 31-year-old Cameo Crispi of Naples, Utah broke up with her boyfriend earlier this month, but wasn't willing to let it go.

He ended up calling police on her on March 14th because she wouldn't leave his house and when he left, she started bombing him with texts and calls.

When police arrived at the house, they saw smoke coming out from under the door.  They busted in and found Crispi had left a pound of bacon burning on the gas stove to try to set the house on fire.

They stopped the fire before it could spread and dragged Crispi out of the house.  She had a blood-alcohol level of 0.346, meaning she was incoherent.

Crispi was charged with arson, burglary, electronic communication harassment, and more.