You're ready to get married, but you also want to buy a new gun. Or maybe, your daughter got knocked up and you want to make sure baby-daddy sticks the hell around.

Fret not-- just take a trip up to Thacker Jewelry in Lubbock. When you buy that wedding ring (over $2,000, natch), they'll throw in a new shotgun or rifle for free! How else can two months' salary last forever?

The sale, according to the Fort Wort Star-Telegram, will be held Oct. 27-29, so you'll want to get the lead out. (Ha! Lead.) The guns are coming from LSG Tactical, also from Lubbock.

Obviously, the two companies are playing off the idea of the "shotgun wedding," but hell -- what groom doesn't want to protect his bride? Of course, this can go both ways, you know. If you can't keep your woman happy, don't be surprised if she shoots off your bits with the free gun you got her. So, you know -- think about it.