Emerald Catron
Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
Granted, this all probably took place at four in the morning, but the hosts of 'Morning Joe' are going to have to be sharper than this if they want to stand a chance against Russell Brand.
Guys, pageant contestants aren't just pretty faces -- they're also extremely capable of saying things so incoherently stupid that it gives you a headache.
We're used to Jesus showing up in a cornflake, or a water stain. Maybe a piece of toast. Not so much a dog's butthole. But there he is, assuming he was real and looked the way he's been painted by a bunch of European artists
Having done our fair share of time in retail, we're willing to bet these price tag placements were all intentional -- probably done by some poor soul about 10 days away from quitting their job. Doesn't make them not funny.
We know -- we know. Last night was the season finale of 'Game of Thrones,' which means there's almost 10 months until you get a new episode. If this fills you with as much despair as it does us, it's going to be okay. Here are some things you can do to deal with the coming Wint
Today would've been the 85th birthday of beloved children's author Maurice Sendak, who passed away last year. In his honor, Google made this amazing, elaborate Google Doodle.
Cronuts have taken over New York City (and the internet) in a big way. The hybrid croissant-doughnuts are only available at one bakery, and when they're gone madness ensues. People are scalping pastries, folks. There's a cronut black market on Craigslist, where you can have one delivered to you for $40. There are bootleg "doissants." It's insanity.
If you're like us (larger than life mo-fos who don't take no guff from NOBODY), you probably find yourself screaming "DEAL WITH IT" at people on the internet on a fairly regular basis. But why type it in all caps, when you could just post a link to a GIF on somebody's Facebook page after shamelessly confessing that you think their baby is "average at best"? After all, if a picture is worth a thousand words, then a GIF must be worth like a thousand million by our estimate. Don't like our math? DEAL WITH IT.
Here's a nice, unsettling thing to look at: "Sloth-facing," also known as "Quasimoderping." Basically, you just move the eyes around a picture until it looks like a sloth and you are laughing/scared. It's pretty big on the internet right now, thanks to Redditor treverhaas, whose album of sloth-faced celebrities picked up some steam.
Of course, subreddit /r/quasimoderp have been doing this (more or less) for about seven months now, so there are lots of good celbrisloths floating around on the internet. Here are some of our favorites:
You probably think of Monopoly as that excruciating board game you have to play with your family, unless your mom likes to make her nephews cry and it gets banned from the house (thanks, Mom!). It turns out it's not the Parker Bros.' fault that the game is so mind-numbingly dull -- it's yours. You've been playing it wrong all these years.