
How Presidential Candidates are Spending Thanksgiving
On Wednesday's Buzz Adams Morning Show, we played a new game: Beat Me to the Punchline where Buzz, Brandon and I each tried to come up with our the best joke to a pre-determined general topic: How the presidential candidates are spending Thanksgiving.
- 1
Hillary Clinton
Getty ImagesGetty Images - At the Clinton household, Bill can't stop giggling when people ask him if he wants another breast or thigh.
- Hillary wears her pants suit with the elastic waste band.
- Hillary is late for dinner because she was busy practicing her "turkey pardoning speech" in the mirror for her first year in office.
- 2
Ben Carson
Getty ImagesGetty Images - Ben Carson doesn't carve the turkey, instead he smashes it with a hammer in a fit of rage.
- He serves rolls made of Egyptian grain previously stored in the pyramids.
- Tryptophan actually WAKES Ben Carson up.
- 3
Bernie Sanders
Getty ImagesGetty Images - Bernie, not wanting to deal with the fuss of Thanksgiving, so he goes to a diner, where he sends the soup back for being cold.
- Bernie Sanders glad to be off the campaign trail so people will stop asking him when the next season of Curb Your Enthusiasm will be released.
- Sanders gives everyone a full plate of food, but then demands they give back 90 percent.
- 4
Chris Christie
Getty ImagesGetty Images - This year, Chris Christie is going to fill in for the Peter Griffin balloon in the Macy's Day parade.
- When everyone opens their eyes after saying grace, there are finger marks in all the food and mashed potatoes in the corner of Chris Christie's mouth.
- Instead of loosening his belt after Thanksgiving dinner, Chris Christie loosens his lap band.
- 5
Donald Trump
Getty ImagesGetty Images - After everyone goes around the table saying what they're thankful for, Trump stands up and says, "You're welcome."
- Trump spends the morning syphoning his ego to fill the Macy's Day Parade balloons.
- Donald Trump doesn't allow turkey at his table because Turkey is next to Syria.
- Instead of a gravy boat, Donald Trump has a gravy yacht.
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