You Should Masturbate Before Your Company Christmas Party, Here is Why

Your company Christmas party is filled with land mines and masturbating before will help disarm those land mines.

Cosmopolitan interviewed a psychotherapist named Lucy Beresford, and she has a strategy for eliminating at least one of the big ones.

She says before your company Christmas party, you need to vigorously masturbate.

Her advice is actually for women, but we think it applies equally to men also.

The theory is pretty simple, if you take care of yourself beforehand, it'll calm your loins down and help you make a more rational decision on whether to have sex with a co-worker.

Especially if you have a thing for a coworker and were thinking of using the party as an opportunity to make a move.

By masturbating beforehand, you can focus on flirting at the party and not escalating things, which is a smarter long-term play.