Contact Us

New ‘Transformers’ Trailer Reminds You Just How Much You Really Hate the Transformers Movies

Subscribe to The Basin’s Real Rock 99.9 K-Bat on

The new teaser trailer for ‘Transformers: Age of Extinction’ trailer is bad. “How bad is it?” the crowd asks in response. It’s so bad, our eyes jumped out of our head and kicked us in the crotch for watching it.

Seriously, how hard is it to get the Transformers right? What do you need? Well, you need giant, laser-gun-wielding robots. Those robots need to change into cars and tanks and whatnot. Then they fight each other. It’s pretty simple.

Maybe you throw in a couple of humans nipping at the robots’ heels to make the story relatable. Throw all of that into the standard paint-by-the-numbers plot setup, and you should be able to knock it out of the park. So how does Michael Bay keep screwing up a sure thing?

We imagine his directing style involves saying something along the lines of “No, that’s too real. What we’re going for is an emotionless husk of a person.” And Marky Mark might respond by saying something like, “But I’m playing a single father struggling to support his family. Shouldn’t I show some genuine emotion?”

“Nope,” responds the director of such cinematic disasters as ‘Pearl Harbor’ and ‘Armageddon.’ “I don’t want to distract people from the giant robots.”

The first Transformers movie was about as decent as one could expect from a two-plus-hour-long movie about toys from the ’80s. Sadly, the feature film franchise peaked as soon as it appeared. The plot for the second Transformers movie, ‘Revenge of the Fallen,’ made about as much sense as watching every David Lynch movie simultaneously, except less entertaining. And for some reason, it was three hours long.

The newest entry in the million-dollar waste of a franchise does have two things going for it: The Dinobots do look pretty badass. And there’s no Shia “I’m Not Famous Anymore” Labeouf. Maybe this is the first step to ensuring the plagiarizing Labeouf’s wish of ditching stardom comes true.

Next: Zack Snyder Defends 'Watchmen'

Best of KBAT

Recommended For You

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for KBAT 99.9 FM quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive KBAT 99.9 FM contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.