The Worst Way to Beat the Heat in West Texas

Philadelphia has taken dumpster diving to a whole new level….they’re doing it literally.

That’s right, kids in Philadelphia block party dumpster pools are all the rage, so much so that the city had to issue an official warning advising residents against this disastrous dirty dumpster diving deed, like what I did there? One party’s organizer said that they power-washed the dumpster, lined the bottom with plywood and tarps and cushioned the corners with pool noodles. Ummm, I don’t know about you guys but that wouldn’t make me any more apt to jump in a dumpster that once contained all of Philadelphia’s trash….I mean wasn’t that movie about aids set in and called Philadelphia…

The department of Licenses and Inspections issued a statement saying the city wont issue permits for block party dumpster pools, as if that’s a shock. Agency spokeswoman Karen Guss said, “You would think this decision would not require an explanation.”

Not for me it doesn’t. I don’t need anyone to explain to me why it’s not a good idea to swim in a dumpster that used to have dirty diapers and used tampons in it….and that’s not even the worst thing that was probably in one of those dumpsters….dead babies, dead people in general. I know it’s morbid but it’s probably very accurate.

Anyway, Guss said, “We are not screwing around, Philly.” in a statement, “The city strongly recommends that residents opt for recreational options that are safer, more sanitary and less likely to deplete the resources firefighters need in an emergency.”

I know it can get it hot out here in West Texas, but take it from me. This is NOT how you want to try and stay cool.