What the f*ck ladies?  Anyone who knows me knows I’m no Judgey McJudgerton, but damnit girls what’s going on in the bathroom here lately?

 

Look, because of my particular bathing and shaving rituals there is never a need to do this but out of pure decency I still do, turn around and look down.  I know a ton of b*tches walking around like their sh*t don’t stink, coach purse in tow, wearing shoes that cost more than my monthly car payment, giving me the “up and down yep I’m better than you” eyes that if I had to use a bathroom stall immediately after them I’d have to call in FEMA to help me pick up all the debris left as evidence of not only your poor hygienic behaviors but also your inability to keep your “Whore-Door” closed.

 

Ladies your “Whore-Door” is much like the front door to your home, if you leave it open what do you get inside the entrance?  Dust, Dirt, some leaves, probably a candy wrapper or two, sometimes an occasionally wandering feline….what I’m trying to say is how the f*ck are you not aware of the filth your leaving behind when you get up?

 

I understand not all women “groom” themselves the same and that’s fine, however, there have been far too many times I have walked into a stall in the ladies room and wondered if a She-Big foot had just been in there.

 

Turn around look down ladies…don’t leave anything on the seat that I need to sweep up later…thanks

 

 

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