Tawny the Rock Chick’s Latest Episode of Clumsiness

I know I have said this before, or at least I think I have.....now where did I put my keys?.....sorry it’s the ADD kicking in.

Back to the subject, if I haven't mentioned it before I'm clumsy.  Not broody teenager love story kind of clumsy...you know where a character might trip in the hall or cut their finger on an envelope....that is a laughable comparison to what I consider clumsy.

I am the kind of clumsy that sends people to the hospital and burns down neighborhoods, not yet on the second one but the struggle is real.  Who do I need to talk to in the movie industry about this seriously misrepresented condition.

For those of you who are reading and going "It can’t be that bad Tawny" allow me to enlighten you....

Let’s start with today since its fresh on my mind, this morning I cut my self in the shower while shaving so bad that it looked like a scene from psycho, I poked myself in the eye whilst applying makeup, I slipped and fell in the mud on my way to my car which caused me to have to go back inside and change clothes.  When I was exiting my vehicle I closed the door on my scarf and almost choked myself, once in the building as I was going out a door on my way to get coffee I opened said door on a gentlemen’s face who would otherwise have been deeply offended but I think I apologized so pathetically that he decided my embarrassment was enough punishment.

People that was in the morning of just one day...some examples from the past;

I have burnt water...yes water on the stove

I have broken thousands upon thousands of glasses and vases and pretty much anything that can break I’ve broken a ton of them

I have bruises right now on my body that I have no idea how they got there, and that's a normal thing.

One time in Mexico I woke up with a whale of a bruise on my leg and everyone was like "Holy shit girl who did you get in a fight with and who won", nope no fights, and nope don't remember.

I have cut my self opening boxes with knives and needed stitches, I’ve also cut myself during various household tasks involving knives that was cause for a rule in my house that prevents me from using or being near sharp objects.

I’ve dislocated my knee cap so many times that my doctor had forbidden me from sports like basketball, baseball, volleyball.....brisk walking.

I cause my self pain in some way on an almost hourly basis....and that is no exaggeration.

I could go on but we don't have time for that.  The point is the next time you think it’s cute or endearing that someone you see on TV or in the movies or maybe someone you know is clumsy, keep in  mind number one, that is not clumsy and number two catching your hair on fire while trying to light a candle that you eventually knock over and spill all over the carpet after slipping on the dry floor on your way to put your hair out in the sink subsequently hitting your head on the spout giving yourself a concussion that deems it necessary to head to the hospital for stitches on the way to which you slam some part of your body in the door which actually turns out to be convenient since you’re on your way to the hospital anyway...is not cute.

Again I remind you, this is just a small very limited look into my life of clumsy...because you just couldn't handle any more details and if I gave any more than I already have some well-meaning individual would put me in a padded room with stuffed animals and Jell-O.