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Molecular Dynamics Professor Ejected From Classical Concert for Attempting to Crowd Surf

Dr. David Glowacki

Comparisons between metal and classical music have been common ever since Tony Iommi unleashed the Devil’s diminished fifth on Black Sabbath‘s namesake track. Forty-four years later, that comparison remains true as demonstrated by Dr. David Glowacki, an an American scientist who is an expert in non-equilibrium molecular reaction dynamics, was recently ejected from a classical performance while trying to crowd surf during Handel’s ‘Messiah.’

We can’t blame the guy, the “Hallelujah” chorus in Handel’s ‘Messiah’ is about as epic as it gets. Why shouldn’t you open the pit for such a celebrated piece of music? Unfortunately, Dr. Glowacki was given the boot from England’s Bristol Old Vic theatre not from security, but by fellow concertgoers!

According to the Independent, Dr. Glowacki was enjoying the recital so much that “he began lurching from side to side with his hands raised and whooping before he attempted to crowd-surf.” Apparently, a crowd-led ejection due to such behavior hasn’t happened at a classical concert there since the 1700s.

“He got very over-excited,” says Tom Morris, artistic director of the Bristol Old Vic. “The Bristol Proms are contributing to a ground-breaking way of thinking which will pave the way for a new kind of classical concert. But by allowing an audience to respond in whatever way they want, you also allow an audience to self-regulate, as we discovered. David was investigating what the nature of the rules are using the skills that make him an extraordinary scientist – and for some in the audience, a slightly irritating one.”

Dr. David Glowacki counters, “Classical music, trying to seem cool and less stuffy, reeks of some sort of fossilized art form undergoing a midlife crisis. Witness what happened to me when I started cheering with a 30-strong chorus shouting ‘praise God’ two metres from my face: I get physically assaulted, knocked down to the floor and forcibly dragged out by two classical vigilantes. Neither the bourgeoisie audience nor their curators (eg. Tom Morris) really believe what they say. You’re free to behave as you like, and it’s comforting to think that you have that freedom, but it’s only available to you so long as you behave correctly.”

The good doctor denied that his actions were influenced by alcohol. “This may be a consequence of me being American, but I can quite easily be provocative without the need to be inebriated.”

Way to represent, Dr. Glowacki, we raise our horns in respect!

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