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New Device Promises to Protect You From Getting Caught Watching Porn

There’s a new gadget on Indiegogo that offers to keep your from getting caught watching porn on your computer.

It’s called “Minemeyes” and the basic concept is that it’s a motion activated sensor that will automatically lower the volume and minimize all the open windows on your computer as soon as it detects anybody coming your way. It connects to your computer via Bluetooth and the sensor has a range of 15 feet. So ideally, you’d put the device in the hallway outside the room you’ve decided to make sweet self-love while watching raunchy videos.

Here’s a ‘Safe for Work’ video that illustrates how the Minemeyes would work:

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Ok, let’s unpack this video a little. Here’s the guy on his computer, one hand on his mouse and the other on his weasel.

  • :13 — In walks his wife and I think I’m seeing what the problem in the relationship may be.
  • :15 — Maybe he’s watching so much porn because his wife is a giant!! She’s at least three times his size. What kind of friction could you get going on with that?
  • 1:35 — Wait…did they just recommend their product to help you get away with masturbating at a coffee shop?

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