Is That Beer in Your Pants, Or Are You Happy to See Me?
A man in Massachusetts was arrested last week for allegedly taking beer from a liquor store and then giving a lame excuse for the clearly viewable evidence.
Jonathan Scull was followed by an employee of the Somerville store when he left last Tuesday, and questioned him about the beer-can shaped bulges in his pants around his ankles.
The suspect then told the clerk that was his manhood, when she obviously didn't believe him Scull allegedly threw one of the cans at her and fled the scene.
She called police who found Scull in his hometown of Medford. He told police when they asked him about the manhood beer that since they were no longer in Somerville, it was none of their business and they could "F%#$ off."
Scull reportedly resisted arrest, and in the scuffle threatened to kill the officers.
Police finally subdued him and charged him with shoplifting by concealment, making criminal threats, assault and battery, and resisting arrest.