I Got Some New Swim Trunks

If his hands are as tiny as people say, that's really saying something.

These are my new swim trunks...or are they swim trumps? I figure they'll make a real "splash" at pool parties....pun very much intended. It's funny. 4 years ago I was in great shape but now I'm a chubs AF so I've avoided pools at all cost. This is the first time I've looked forward to a swimming pool in 4 years so that's pretty cool lol. Strangely, I'm looking forward to suggesting to all who see me, that I have a tiny wiener.

Who cares right lol? I have a fiance and she's KBAT Sh*t crazy so it's better that I use every possible resource available to detour any advances on my irresistible fat ass. Ironically, I actually met my fiance (who is WAAAAAAAAY better looking than me) at The Detour in Midland lol.

Btw, sorry for misleading you. No way I'm telling you where I got these. I mean lets think this through. Do you really wanna walk into the pool and be Trump weenie bros with some random half naked dude? Nah son. That's just not a good look and I'm not taking any chances.