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3 Total Loonbags Set Off Fireworks Display in a Walmart

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We get it, we get it — you’re really excited for the Fourth of July.

Police in Phoenix are on the lookout for three men who detonated a fireworks display set up inside a Walmart. It just proves white trash has goals and are not content setting off fireworks in the patch of grass in front of their camper in the trailer park. It also proves that, yes, people who shop in Walmart can sometimes be a few jumbo bags of Ruffles short of the size 58 swim trunks sold  in menswear.

The trio of Einsteins are looking at possible arson charges. Smart move by these knuckleheads, huh? If there’s one thing Phoenix, which is basically just a desert with a few IHOPs thrown in, needs it’s a gag that could turn into a raging fire.

We bet these yutzes are hiding out with this other nimrod who thought, “Hey, why not set off a firecracker in my pants?” (Or maybe it was this one – both are good bets.) These guys are loaded with so many bright ideas, it’s surprising they don’t shine brighter than the firecrackers they’re sharing with the world.

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