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Fatherly Angst Explored to Hilarious Results in ‘Dad Metal’ Funny or Die Clip [Watch]

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Metal is all about the freedom and reckless abandon of youth, something that sadly is restricted a bit once a toddler comes along. But don’t worry dads, as this Funny or Die spoof combines the sounds you grew up on with the daily angst you currently experience in the ultimate soundtrack called ‘Dad Metal.’

This hilarious parody turns a number of fatherly complaints and platitudes into full-fledged metal anthems. As the faux infomercial promises, it’s the “throat shredding, fist pounding, colon puncturing soundtrack to all things paternal.”

The collection includes such fake classics as ‘What Do You Mean, You Lost Your Retainer?’ from Prostate, ‘You Were an Accident’ from Freedom Dethroned and ‘Daddy Wasn’t Hurting Mommy, We Were Doing Grown Up Stuff’ from Pattern Baldness. There’s also an especially inspired death metal version of ‘Skylar Is Allergic to Peanuts’ from Prophylactic Rupture featuring a giant peanut delivering its best guttural growl on lyrics like “Benadryl / Benadryl / EpiPen / EpiPen.”

And just a note for anyone looking to start a band — although the band names are fake, we have to admit that Gallstone and Toddler War sound like pretty bad ass monikers. As the tagline says, “Turn that parenting grind into pure grindcore.” This ‘Dad Metal’ soundtrack is something we wish was real.

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